Impossible
by AssortedScribbler
Summary: A visit from her nephew drops an awkward problem in Rachel’s lap that could tear her sister and Eddie apart. What happens if Eddie find out anyway? Where do they all go from there? Reddie.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Waterloo Road or any of it's affiliates. I just own the plot.

**A/N:** OK, this came to me a little randomly and it was only an idea, but it sort of took shape after watching Episode 5. It's set about two weeks on after that episode; Mel and Eddie are still together, Rachel is getting more and more frustrated with them, and Eddie is still not happy with Philip for sending Michaela that picture of him. This is my take on what shape the series may take, I don't know whether to hope I'm right or not. Just please give it a read and see what you think.

**Summary:** A visit from her nephew drops an awkward problem in Rachel's lap that could tear her sister and Eddie apart. What happens if Eddie find out anyway? Where do they all go from there? Reddie.

**Impossible**

Sighing deeply through her nose, Rachel tucked her hair behind her ear for what must have been the thousandth time and neatly signed her name on the bottom of the form she'd been completing. It was lunchtime and normally, she would have taken a short break to at least nip down to the canteen and get something, even if it was only her usual apple, (she'd taken to eating very little at the moment because she either didn't feel like it or forgot) but she really couldn't afford to just now, there were forms from here to the moon, or so it felt like, and she was determined to make a dent in them by the end of the day.

She thought now perhaps she could work late and may even get them finished, with some luck and a lack of disturbances. She practically enjoyed burying herself in paperwork at the moment, it provided a welcome distraction from – well, someone or rather two 'someone's she was determined not to think about. Having finally finished that file, she slipped it into the tray and picked up another, flicking her eyes over the title before flipping the cover over. Just as she was scanning the first lines, she heard voices outside her door and, knowing it meant she was likely to be interrupted, straightened her posture to regard the door carefully, trying to figure out whose voice she could hear in addition to that of her secretary. It was male, she had deduced that much, before there was the usual knock at her door and she called through for whomever it was to come in.

The door was opened hesitantly, so she could guess it was a student and quickly arranged her face into a friendly smile. However, when she saw which student in particular was edging his way into her office and shutting door quietly behind him, her smile quickly transformed into a worried frown. She watched as the boy turned and, not meeting her eyes, shuffled towards her desk, shifting his bag on his shoulders.

"Philip?" Rachel spoke, hoping it would draw his attention to her and not the intimidating surroundings, and he finally looked up and gave her a small, hesitant smile. "What can I do for you?" She asked, motioning towards the chair he was stood by and he swung off his rucksack as he sat down, head still slightly lowered and looking decidedly nervous.

"Umm, look, Rachel, I – I wanted to tell someone. You were the only person I could think of. I hope you don't mind." Wondering in her mind what on earth could be upsetting her nephew this much, she nodded encouragingly, hoping to God it was nothing serious, just something he'd thought was important, but knew she wasn't that lucky.

"Is something wrong?" Rachel asked, leaning forward and laying her arms on her papers, eyes flicking over Philip as he bit his lips.

"Yeah. Well, sort of. It's Mum, you see. Well, Mum and Eddie I guess." That did not bode well, but she could hardly turn him away now could she?

"I thought you and Eddie got along really well?" Rachel queried, misunderstanding what Philip was trying to tell her. He shook his head, seeming to gain a little confidence from her saying that, and looking up into her eyes for a little longer this time.

"We did, until that thing about his picture. But I still think he's a nice guy, and I'm sorry for what I did, and I think I owe him. That's why I'm here. Mum – well, I think Mum is…" A dreadful feeling slipped into the pit of Rachel's stomach as her nephew struggled to get his words out. "I think she's cheating on him." He muttered, to his lap, but Rachel heard and closed her eyes herself, as if in actual, physical pain. Oh no. Please don't let him have said what she thought he'd said. She pressed her lips together for a moment to gather her composure before finally forcing herself to speak, hoping her voice betrayed none of the dread that was swallowing her.

"Philip, are you sure?" Apart from sounding slightly rasped, her voice was normal, and she was grateful, though the hurt look in her nephew's eyes as he looked up and nodded made her emotions begin to storm. Hurt on whose account, his own for being doubted, or Eddie's for being played for a fool, she couldn't tell and not for the first time she regretted not taking more time to get to know her nephew. "Have you spoken to her about it?" Rachel tried, keeping her voice soft though even to her own ears, there was an edge as her hurt on Eddie's part was channelled into anger at her sister. Philip shifted in his seat and nodded again.

"Yeah, I caught her on the phone to the other guy a few days ago and she told me not to ask about stuff that didn't concern me, and when I said it did because I live with her and Eddie, she got angry and told me to sod off. So I did. Eddie still isn't really speaking to me because of the photo thing, and I knew you got along with him, so I thought maybe you could explain. I don't want him to be mad at me for something I didn't do." Philip admitted and Rachel nodded understandingly, but then looked away, suddenly realising what Philip was asking her to do. The ironic thing was she wasn't in any more of a position to mention this to Eddie than Philip was, less in fact, because she had no evidence except Philip's word and Eddie might see her as just being jealous though she did hope he knew her better than that.

"Philip, I wish I could do as you ask, you did the right thing telling someone and I appreciate that it was hard to do, knowing how much you love your Mum. But I'm in a more awkward place than you are. For reasons I cannot explain right now, there is no way I can be the one to tell Eddie, though I agree someone should. Is there any way you could let Eddie find out himself? Leave something out for him to find that would prove what was going on?" Philip was already shaking his head and Rachel's heart sunk even further than it had already.

"No, I tried that. Couldn't find anything. Just the phone calls, and she could say they were for the adult education course." Rachel felt herself slump visibly in her chair, wondering in the back of her mind why her sister could not apply the same diligence to her work that she did to hiding her affairs.

"What about texts? They're stored on the phone." Rachel tried, her fingers twisting together as she tried to come up with some way of getting around this problem. She had pushed back her reaction to the information for now and was just concentrating on Philip, not about to loose it in front of a student and especially not her nephew. If the burn in her stomach was anything to go by, when she did react, she may just break something.

"I checked. Nothing that would prove anything." Philip replied, not blushing over the fact that he'd gone through his Mum's phone as his aunt obviously wasn't bothered by it. Rachel, who was agitatedly running her fingers through her hair, tried to think of some other way, some solution. But there was nothing.

"Philip, I'm sorry. I can't tell Eddie. He wouldn't believe me. And, I know it's hard, but I think you will have to be the one to tell him, he'd listen to you, he'd be fair, and though he may be angry with you to start with I'm sure he'd understand eventually, Philip. I'm sorry, but that's all I can do." Rachel felt bitterly helpless, unable to accommodate her nephew because Eddie had approached her about his feelings and she had said no, and since then, all she'd been allowed to be seen to be feeling was friendly affection for both of them, and she'd felt trapped the entire time.

Philip took it gently, as if understanding what she could not tell him, and nodded again before standing, hitching his bag onto his shoulder and smiling a little at his aunt, at which she smiled sympathetically back. Then he turned and left, without a word, his expression now more determined than she thought she'd ever seen it. She knew he was going to tell Eddie, whether now or later, she didn't want to guess, but he would in his own time and Rachel had to be content with that.

For a few seconds, Rachel just about managed to hold onto her composure to make sure the door was closed and there was no one else waiting outside her inner office to see her, before she angrily shoved herself back from her desk and barely stopped herself from kicking the drawer to the side of her as she stood and walked over to the window. Her face was contorting, she could feel it, her anger swelling as the betrayal began to pain her. How dare Melissa do this? How dare she do this to Eddie? After he had been so good to her, so wonderfully supportive and loyal, standing by her since her first day and defending her whereever possible. How could she?

Rachel fought back the anger, knowing she could not express it yet, allowing her compassion to slide forward. Eddie would be heart-broken when he found out. She could see, no matter how much she didn't want to, how happy he was with Mel. It wasn't fair that she should do this to him. Trying to breath deeply, Rachel folded her arms and lifted her head, blinking away the tears she didn't understand that were welling up on her bottom eyelid. She'd been suppressing her emotions so much of late, she was no longer sure how she felt about anything, and she'd found that on odd moments, tears or tempers would creep up on her when she wasn't expecting them.

Now she was giving her feelings free reign, everything seemed to swim before her eyes as the wave of emotion hit her hard. She had been extremely jealous of her sister lately, that much she'd known, despite spending every waking moment denying it, because seeing Eddie with Melissa showed her just what she'd let go, showed her how complacent she'd been in thinking things could go back to normal after that evening when he'd told her how he felt.

She'd been hurt, because Eddie had told her she was special, and within a week had moved on to someone else and though she tried to tell herself he had no obligation to her and he was free to like who he chose, she couldn't help feeling that his words didn't mean nearly as much now as they had done at the time; she half didn't believe them anymore, because she obviously was easy to get over. She knew she was probably doing him a great disservice by concluding this in the way she had, but her pessimism was too logical to deny for long.

She felt angry, because she couldn't show _anyone_ how she truly felt, she'd felt like a cornered animal with eyes everywhere, watching and waiting for her to make a mistake and let loose something she shouldn't have and she hated feeling that powerless. She hated having to hide so much, though she knew she had a lot of practice, she'd thought this year would be the first time she would have the opportunity to be completely honest (or as honest as she was able to be) but once again that chance was taken away, this time by her own sister. And then she'd been accused of being uncomfortable with 'the situation' and had denied it, because what else could she do, really?

She'd been confused, because she'd thought Mel knew her better than that, would see what it was doing without her having to tell her little sister how she felt. That led to feeling hurt again, because either Mel saw and didn't care, or didn't know her that well, or Rachel had gotten too good at hiding things. She'd felt guilty because, damn it, she shouldn't be aching after her sister's boyfriend, she shouldn't feel this way, she didn't want to feel this way, but she couldn't stop herself.

Now how was she supposed to feel? Relieved? Disappointed? Angry? Worried? Happy? Yes, all of those to some degree. But she still, above all of those, felt trapped. Until Philip said something, she could not feel anything. It was intolerable, this tight hold she had to keep constantly on her emotions, and she knew that hold had been tenuous at some points, but she'd kept up the deception for as long as necessary.

Her home had been the scene of more tantrums in the past few weeks than in the entire time she'd been there before, simply because she could not hold it all in any longer. Once she got home, she let loose. She hadn't done any damage to anything that couldn't be replaced, a couple of chipped mugs from slamming things into the sink and one broken wine glass from throwing herself up from a chair when she couldn't bare to sit still anymore, but it was an awful way to live.

She sighed, pushing away the emotions again, knowing it would need to wait because she had to concentrate on that paperwork regardless of what was happening in her heart, and took several deep breaths, another common feature in her alone time at the moment. She only had to wait until Philip said something, then perhaps she could be honest with herself about how she was feeling. And perhaps honest with Eddie as well.

* * *

For the next few days, Rachel watched carefully for any change that would indicate whether Philip had broken his silence, and at length, she saw one. It was five days after he came to see her, five days of restraining herself and questioning whether she had in fact done the right thing. She was just going into her office when she heard her nephew call after Eddie, just as he was coming up the stairs, hopefully not to see her because she'd had enough of dodging his concerned questions; he'd noticed even if Mel hadn't that something was even more wrong with her than it had been. Deciding she did not want to hear, no matter whether Philip was just asking to talk or actually telling Eddie, she slipped into her office and took her place behind the desk.

Either way, the matter would come out, it might be Philip telling him or Melissa would make a mistake, and Rachel had already begun to prepare for what would follow. She'd been processing her emotions since the day she'd found out, combing them down to what she could deal with and what she could use, and so far she thought she'd been fairly successful in controlling herself around both Melissa and Eddie. She'd not been overly cool with her sister, and nor had she given away any of the sympathy she felt for Eddie, because it was only a matter of time. She just had to keep reminding herself of that, and break a couple more mugs when she got home.

There was also the practical aspect to face. Melissa would likely leave Waterloo Road, if she knew her sister, when the truth came out so they would need a new head of Extended Services, therefore she'd been reviewing the applicants for the original interview and pondering on the best next choice. She'd also begun looking into flats that Melissa and Philip could move into that were nearby, if she did decide to stay, because obviously they could not keep living at Eddie's house and she certainly didn't want her nephew anywhere near the man Mel had chosen to betray Eddie with, although Rachel reproved herself for even thinking Mel could be that cold hearted and move in with another man so soon. Having said that, she couldn't help wondering sometimes.

There was also the question of how, if Mel did stay, she could arrange for Eddie and Mel to spend as little time together as possible, at least at first, because she didn't need the added tension of their quarrel marring the staff meetings. She'd considered this, but had yet to come up with a solution. She knew these practical preparations made her sound like a hard-hearted cow, but she couldn't deal with the emotional side until she was allowed to show at least some of what she was feeling, and she couldn't do that until Eddie knew. So in essence, she'd put her emotions in storage until Philip worked up the nerve to tell him. Not an easy thing to do, but she'd had enough practice over the last few weeks to accomplish it.

Sighing, she set her bag down on top of the never-ending paperwork and opened it, pulling out the folders she'd taken home and her laptop, turning the electronic equipment on while she put the files in the right places for her assistant to collect later. She'd found in the last week that the only way she could sleep was taking her work home and burying herself in it until late, that way her mind was too tired to think before she went to sleep. If she started to think, she'd been awake for hours.

Settling herself in her chair, she briefly flicked her eyes towards the door, suddenly wishing she knew what Philip had told Eddie, whether the secret was finally not a secret anymore, wondering how Eddie would take it, whether he would believe Philip or whether it would take some time for him to realise, wanting to be prepared for when the storm finally arrived. Shaking her head, she stopped her thoughts and focussed them on her job. She would just have to be patient. Oh, how she hated that word.

* * *

It was barely half an hour later when she heard the stomp of footsteps she recognised as Eddie's coming through the anti-chamber of her office and Rachel straightened her back just as the door flew open to reveal her Deputy practically steaming with fury. Her natural inclination to hide her feeling made sure she tried not to look surprised as he stormed into her room, though she realised it would have looked more convincing if she had been shocked. Then he was throwing the door shut so hard the noise it made when it hit it's frame must have been heard across the school and she knew he wouldn't have noticed either way. Hesitantly, Rachel lifted her eyes to Eddie's and raised an eyebrow as he glared down at her. A definite sense of déjà vu washed over Rachel, and she knew where this had happened before but she knew this time, he wasn't angry with her.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Rachel retorted, leaning back in her chair and watching Eddie carefully as his face convulsed, much as hers had done five days ago, before he began striding the length of her room, scuffing his feet along her carpet. She held back a very inappropriate smile as she realised his general posture reminded her of a sulking teen; she knew she shouldn't be finding anything funny just now, but the image wouldn't leave her alone. He seemed to be trying to find some way of telling her, and she waited, knowing it was best to let him find his own way without pushing for an answer, even though she already had one. In a way, he almost reminded her of her nephew when he'd come to see her and dumped the problem on her shoulders as well, though she knew he'd meant well.

"It's Melissa." He finally managed to growl and she pulled her thoughts abruptly into the present. "She's been – she is cheating on me. Was. I've just been to see her, Philip told me, poor lad looked terrified by the time he'd finished, probably because I was about ready to punch something, and she couldn't deny it. She's been seeing him practically the whole time we've been going out. Can you believe that? She couldn't even tell me why, she just said 'it happened' and she kept saying she was sorry, but if she was really sorry she wouldn't have done it in the first place, would she?" The whole story poured out of Eddie and Rachel tried to look as if this was news to her. She didn't know if it was believable, but thankfully Eddie was still pacing and his focus was on his feet.

"I really thought we had something. I thought she was happy, but evidently not. I'm so stupid! I never seem to do enough. Never make the people I'm with happy." Oh no, she wasn't going to let him pay himself that injustice.

"Eddie, Melissa was happy with you. I think she just made a stupid mistake and maybe, when you're calmed down enough, you could talk to her properly and she'd say the same." Rachel offered, regarding the man she cared about so much with sympathetic eyes that she tried to hide but her empathy was undeniable. Eddie stopped and turned to her, a frown scrunching up his eyebrows as his eyes found hers.

"You don't sound surprised." Rachel blinked, trying to figure out what hadn't made her reaction seem realistic, that this was the first time she'd known about it, while also trying to find an appropriate reaction.

"Well, Mel does have a habit of-" The brunette started to say but her Deputy, who knew her so well and she hated him for it just then, cut across her,

"Rachel, did you know about this?" His tone had a hint of thunder to it. The second of hesitation before she answered was just a little too long, and Eddie's face immediately darkened once again, his mouth going very straight and his eyes loosing any warmth they'd yet managed to keep.

"Eddie, how could I know-" Rachel tried to deny it but he'd already seen the truth in her eyes, somehow the one place she couldn't stop being expressive, and he practically slammed his two hands down on her desk as he began to rage again.

"How could you not tell me?! You knew what Mel was doing, seeing someone else on the side, and you did nothing?!? How could you Rachel? Why? Does our friendship mean nothing to you? Are we even friends in your world? How could you be that heartless?" She let him carry on, though every word he spoke against her sent a spine of sharp cold into her heart because it hurt so much that he would blame her for her sister's fault, that he could lay this mess at her door, that he could think she had just laid back and let it happen. But the heartless comment was a hauntingly familiar one she'd had far too often just recently and she had to make him pause, if only for a moment.

"Eddie, stop." Her voice, which she realised sounded far too shaky, seemed to make his catch in his throat and she swallowed to steady herself before she began to speak, "Yes, I knew, Philip came and told me," she admitted and when he opened his mouth to start accusing her all over again she continued, "but Eddie, how could I tell you? Melissa had already told me she felt threatened by me, I couldn't betray her by telling you, I couldn't bare to loose her again, not when I've only just got her back. And…" She hesitated over adding this, but she knew he needed to hear it and perhaps she needed to say it. "I didn't want you to think it was just my being jealous and trying to break you up, because I can't loose you either. Don't you see? You wouldn't have believed me if I'd told you, it would only have done more damage than good." Rachel had stood without realising, not wanting to be intimidated by him looming over her, wanting to explain herself yet again. Her voice had gotten more and more desperate as the flame in his eyes diminished, hoping she was getting through to him but not holding out a lot of hope.

"I would have trusted you Rachel. I always have, why would this change that?" The hurt edge to his voice made her mouth twist in an effort not to cry, and she became aware that one of those attacks of emotion she usually avoided until she got home had once again overcome her control. She had to get rid of Eddie now, before she said something she'd regret.

"I couldn't take the chance Eddie. I'm sorry." She said it softly, again with a sense of déjà vu, and his entire being seemed to deflate suddenly, no more righteous anger, no more flaring temper, just a tiredness that she wished she could take away or heal. It reminded her of their talk when he'd found about her past, when he'd told her how sick he was of being lied to. It still made her heart ache to think about it, even now. She could not evict him from her office in this state.

"It's alright. I suppose it was right that Philip told me. I should probably apologise to the kid, I must have scared him earlier." Eddie pulled on a faint smile, which Rachel returned gratefully, as she came around the desk and, putting a hand on his arm, guided him over to the soft chairs by the window, locking her office door as she did so. He didn't seem to notice and gladly took a seat, leaning back and scrubbing a hand over his face, no doubt wanting to wash away the entire day as well.

Rachel watched him, wondering what would be the best thing to do. Knowing words were just not going to help at this moment, she bit her lip slightly on one side before tentatively reaching out and placing a hand on his knee, a silent gesture of support that she hoped was comforting. He lifted the hand off his face and looked down at her slim fingers resting so gently on his leg, and she suddenly wasn't sure that was the right thing to do, his warmth was seeping through his clothes and into her hand, as if giving her comfort even when she intended for it to be the other way around. Such thoughts she knew were highly inappropriate at that moment, so she was about to remove it when he placed his on top of hers, curling to grip her tightly within his larger one.

Involuntarily, her eyes squeezed shut for a few seconds as she tried to block out the rush of feeling his skin holding hers brought forward, having to bite down on the inside of her cheek to do it. When she'd gotten control back, she opened them and looked up, into his eyes, which were regarding her with some concern. She realised she must have looked like she was in pain and smiled to alleviate his worries, and the ends of his fingers which were within her grasp she squeezed reassuringly as well. A second later, she realised she shouldn't have looked into his eyes, they were too soft and caring, and she lowered her head, hurrying to suppress the blush threatening in her cheeks. That was another thing she hated; she always seemed to blush around Eddie. Never around anyone else, she could push it back then, but everything was always different with Eddie.

"Rachel, I don't want to loose you either, you know. I'm sorry I yelled at you." Now she couldn't help it, and a faint pink flooded her neck and face as he repeated her desperate words from earlier. She'd not meant to be that honest, but she'd needed him to understand her motives for keeping him in the dark until Philip could tell him.

"It's alright. You're allowed to be angry." She returned, and without realising it, her thumb began to smooth along his knuckles in an uncommonly affectionate gesture that took him by surprise.

"But not with you. What happened wasn't your fault and I shouldn't have made it sound like it was." Eddie insisted, and Rachel saw the guilt flare in his eyes as he thought about what he had said. She shook her head.

"It's alright. I should have just been honest with you, I should have trusted you." Rachel sighed, her eyes wandering over the edge of the coffee table, only to have her gaze drawn back up to his as he tugged a little on her hand.

"What a pair we are." He said quietly, and that brought a smile to both their mouths. They were both trying so hard to do the right thing that it inevitably ended up being the wrong thing. "Rachel, can we make an agreement?" The brunette nodded, startled a little by the intensity in his eyes as he spoke. He held her gaze, making sure she was really agreeing, before voicing his thought. "We promise not to lie to each other. To always tell the truth, no matter what the circumstances. Ok?" Eddie looked deep into Rachel's eyes and she felt uncomfortably exposed, as if he could see her soul, all her secrets, all the emotions she'd kept so close recently. Although she knew it was a mistake to allow her heart to answer, the words spilled from her before she could stop them.

"Alright. I promise." Rachel agreed, her mouth a little dry as she spoke, her brain registering the surprise she should have felt at agreeing to such a thing, when in fact she would find it a hard time obeying the rule he'd just laid down. Habits of a lifetime were hard to break, that much she'd learnt from experience.

"Me too. I promise." Eddie echoed her words, something she couldn't quite identify in his voice, and to dispel the slight unease, she nodded, about to speak and suggest that he go and talk to Melissa when he began to talk first. "Since we're being honest, I have something I need to tell you. In a way, it's almost as bad as Mel but in another way, it's not." Rachel drew back slightly, unreasonably worried by the tone of his voice and the way his eyes were caressing her face with a gentility she could almost feel.

"What is it?" She asked, her voice a little croaky, and she swallowed hurriedly to overcome the problem. He lifted his other hand and wrapped it around the one of hers he was already holding, seemingly fascinated by their hands fitted together in such a way, before lifting his eyes up to hers once more and she almost got up and moved away because suddenly, she knew what he was going to say and she didn't know if she could stand hearing it again.

"I still have feelings for you Rachel. I can't help it. I had feelings for Melissa, but they weren't the same as I have for you. Just being this close to you is intoxicating, like I can barely stand it but can't move away either. And I need to know if you feel this as well, because if you do, please stop torturing me." His voice was soft but it physically tugged at something inside of her, and she turned her head away because she knew somewhere inside her that it wasn't right for him to be saying this now. "Rachel…" he whispered, lifted a hand from hers to turn her face back to him, and she let him, a tear spilling from her eye before she could stop it, which he wiped away gently with his thumb.

"Eddie, we can't…" Rachel breathed, even as she let his fingers drift over the edge of her face, down her hairline, brushing her hair back from her cheek, his touch achingly beautiful. Her breathing was becoming ragged and she knew his was as well, and though she tried to fight off the fog her thoughts were turning into, it seemed this moment was inevitable. He leant forward, his hand grasping hers more firmly just as his other hand traced the edge of her face and took hold of the back of her head. She tried to fight in her mind, she knew this was wrong, but it felt so incredible…

His face neared hers, his breath brushing over her skin, and in the instant his eyes found hers, she lost that fight. He knew it. She knew it. And he only had to tilt a little further forward to brush his lips lightly against hers, the barest whisper of a touch that stole the breath from her lungs. Then his lips were pressing against hers, caressing, opening, entwining, and she was lost into him, her emotions finally getting the better of her as she allowed him to kiss her, and herself to kiss back. It was more powerful than she could ever have imagined from that first moment and made sparks of electricity shoot up and down her spine and she would guess, by the way she felt him drawing her into him, that he was experiencing similar feelings of warmth and excitement.

The intensity of their contact did not diminish, but their breath was soon lost and they had to draw away, his hand now buried in her hair and hers clasped tightly in his collar, so they could not move far. The hot air their mouths sucked in hurriedly brushed against the other's face, and it seemed to Rachel that her Deputy couldn't bare to be deprived of contact from her, because within a second, his mouth was pressing feather-like kisses to her cheek, neck and jaw line, and soon she was hard pressed not to release a moan from deep in her throat. Her eyes closed tightly, her head tipping back to give him better access, guided by his hand in her hair, as she savoured the feeling of being treasured. Her mind was completely distracted by the brushes of his lips against her skin.

"I…love…you…" He murmured against her neck, interjecting each word with a kiss. Shuddering, the words broke through her final remaining vestige of control and she let loose the low sigh of pleasure she had been holding in her throat. She could feel him smiling against her and she lowered her head as his rose to meet her eyes.

"And I love you." She whispered, breathily, her eyes shining with passion and truth, unable to believe in the back of her mind that she'd finally spoken the words out loud. She watched as his eyes darkened a shade with love and desire, and for once she didn't question which one the other caused. She just accepted that he loved her, wanted her, and she needed him. He applied a light yet firm pressure to the back of her head and brought her mouth back to his, a playful yet serious battle beginning for dominance of their kiss as his other arm slid around her, pulling her upright so they could close quarters.

She hadn't realised but now appreciated just how much she'd been longing to feel his lean body pressing against hers, his arm holding them close and she tucked her arm around his neck, closing the space between them even further. There was no mistaking how much they both needed this, no second thoughts, and not just because they were completely wrapped up in the moment. They had been building up to this for months. Returning a particularly passionate moment, she felt his hand loosen it's grip on her hair and slide away, around her neck and down to the top button of her shirt, probably without any conscious thought on his part.

They both froze as his fingertips lightly caressed that first step into a fulfilled relationship. Rachel felt an ashamed flush flare over her cheeks and neck again, and slowly drew away from him about half a step, lowering her head, the confidence she'd regained still not quite enough to face him. His hand was now curved around her hip, while the other rose from her shirt to her chin, lifting her eyes to his. She let him drag her gaze up, and was glad when his warm, reassuring brown pools found hers.

"If you want to stop…" He spoke quietly, his fingertips running slightly over her jaw, soothing her. Rachel shook her head slowly, although she could feel her doe eyes filling up with fear.

"I don't want to stop, but…" She knew he would understand her words, though they were barely audible. He softened even more, if possible, and took a gentle half step forward, enfolding her in his arms and pressing a kiss to her hair, nuzzling into the soft waves as she sighed against his neck. He waited, knowing somehow that she would need the moment to prepare, then leant back to check her eyes. She smiled and nodded, dropped her arms to her sides. He tipped her head up slightly and kissed her again, the combination of passion and caring dizzying, while he lifted both hands to her shoulders and gently helped her shrug off her jacket.

The sound of the soft material hitting the floor didn't register with either of them, as both his hands gravitated towards her collar, gliding over the smooth material slowly, making sure she was comfortable before his fingertips grazed the button again, drawing out the seconds as he popped the thing open. She had to swallow at the motion, and she realised her whole boy was tensed, waiting for his reaction. At an agonising pace, he opened the next button, then the next, then the next, until her entire shirt was open and he drew it back from her body.

She was completely exposed; standing in front of him in her bra, the scar sprawled across one side of her chest. Yet, she unexpectedly did not feel the need to hide from him, after all he had already seen part of it. Did that mean she trusted him completely? Perhaps. He stood before her, his eyes roaming over the mark and she waited with baited breath, for any sign of what he was thinking. He lifted a hand and traced the edge of her scar, not gingerly, as she had thought he might, but reverently, his hands slightly cooler than her body, sending a flurry of goosebumps over her skin. She took a deep breath in, smiling tremulously as she did so and he looked up, his eyes filled with admiration and love.

"You're beautiful, Rachel. Absolutely beautiful." He told her, his voice gruff from emotion but unmistakably honest. She felt tears prick her eyes but pulled them back, raising her own cool hand to his face and drawing him towards her for a tender kiss. His hand nudged her shirt off her shoulder and she shrugged off the other, letting it follow her jacket onto the floor, before starting on removing his clothing. Heat enveloped them, gradually quickening their actions until they were pressed against the side of her desk, hands frantically ridding the other of everything except their skin as they rushed towards the conclusion both wanted, and had wanted for too long to wait any longer.

The climax was unlike anything either had ever experienced, and when it was over, they collapsed against each other, spent but extremely happy. Rachel felt like she'd just defied the laws of physics with the one man she'd ever loved with her entire heart and soul. All the frustration, the anger, the sadness, had been poured into the joining of them into one person, and had been turned into a fair explosion of happiness and unadulterated joy. Suddenly, she felt whole again. He'd given her back the part of her that had been missing since, well, for a long time.

Entwining her arms around his neck, she flicked her head a little to move the hair out of her eyes before looking up into his face. They were both smiling in an identically ecstatic fashion, and she leant up from her precarious perch on the edge of her desk to press a kiss to his upturned lips. It was a thank you she couldn't voice adequately and she knew he understood. As she drew back, she felt a light pressure on the base of her back, guiding her up to him again, and she felt his lips smother her grin. Yes, he understood her, but she understood him as well.


End file.
